Thursday, October 29, 2009

William Donahue versus Larry David

William "Billy-Boy" Donahue is the president of the Catholic League, an American organization that fights what it perceives to be bigotry against Catholics. Leaping to the defense of Jesus and his belief that a recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm was insulting to Catholics, Donahue penned the following response as a news release:
Mention Larry David in a word association game and “Seinfeld” rolls off the lips. That show, which David created, wrote and produced, was brilliant. “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is not. Indeed, last night’s episode demonstrates that David’s best years are behind him. He ought to quit while he’s ahead.
At one point in the show, David goes to the bathroom in a Catholic home and splatters urine on a picture of Jesus; he doesn’t clean it off. Then a Catholic woman goes to the bathroom, sees the picture and concludes that Jesus is crying. She then summons her equally stupid mother and the two of them fall to their knees in prayer. When David and Jerry Seinfeld (playing himself) are asked if they ever experienced a miracle, David answers, “every erection is a miracle.” That’s what passes for creativity these days.
Was Larry David always this crude? Would he think it comedic if someone urinated on a picture of his mother? This might be fun to watch, but since HBO only likes to dump on Catholics (it was just a couple of weeks ago that Sarah Silverman insulted Catholics on “Real Time with Bill Maher”), and David is Jewish, we’ll never know.
When it comes to insulting people, Billy is the expert. A quick look around the web and you'll find some pretty interesting quotes attributed to him:
We've already won. Who really cares what Hollywood thinks? All these hacks come out there. Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular. It's not a secret, okay? And I'm not afraid to say it. ... Hollywood likes anal sex. They like to see the public square without nativity scenes. I like families. I like children. They like abortions. I believe in traditional values and restraint. They believe in libertinism. We have nothing in common. But you know what? The culture war has been ongoing for a long time. Their side has lost. [MSNBC, Scarborough Country, 12/8/04]
Note the not-so-subtle antisemitism and homophobia there? According to this tolerant man, Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Catholicism and like anal sex. But note that both Larry David and Sarah Silverman are (according to Billy) anti-Catholic and happen to be Jews. Historically, one thing Catholics have always done is blame the Jews for the problems of the world, whether it be framing them for the murder of their savior or blood libeling and persecuting them during the middle ages.
But I think little Billy Donahue has deeper issues. Note what he says about Larry David's mother:
Would he think it comedic if someone urinated on a picture of his mother?
Years ago Billy was on the Anderson Cooper Show, all in a blather because an artist, Cosmo Cavallaro was producing copies of a naked chocolate Jesus. Big deal. But Billy says:
If we took an image of this artist's mother, and made her out in chocolate, with her genitals exposed, of course, to be equal, and then asked the public to eat her on Mother's Day, yes, he might have a problem. Maybe he wouldn't.
What is this guy's obsession with comparing the Catholic Church to his mommy? I'm not a big believer in Freud but this guy wears his Oedipal Complex on his sleeve. It seems to be his de facto defense. Criticizing or making fun of his church is like insulting my mother? My mother (to my knowledge) isn't working to keep condom use out of Africa, thereby killing thousands of people with the AIDs virus. My mother has never sexually molested young boys, then spent years and millions of dollars covering it up. My mother never tortured Jews during the Inquisition, or burned heretics to death. My mother doesn't sit on a pile of obscene wealth while children starve to death, or make saints out of monsters.
So to Billy Donahue I can only say, "Oh yeah? Well, your mother!"

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